Etched In My Heart
by Ravensbleeding
Summary: Naruto reflects on the things he and Sasuke created during their relationship. The signatures on his ceiling. The heart on the tree. The scars on his back. The words written on his wrist. The pain etched into his heart.


Yay! I finally managed to post something up! It's been a while, hasn't it? I haven't been feeling too well lately, grrr...

Many thanks to my beta, 7CrimsonKisses7, for helping me with this and for giving me the extra boost to finish it. Really, you owe it to her that this story is up. So many, many thanks to her!

I don't own Naruto. Never have, never will. Let's move on.

* * *

The sun shone in through the window, leaving a trail of blistering heat in its wake. The whole room was extremely warm. The bed was tepid, the windowsill burning hot, the floor having no mercy on feet unprepared for the high temperature. If one looked hard enough they could see the heat waves rising from the floor. The air was stale, even with the open window from which no breeze fluttered through. If there was one it lasted no more than a few seconds and it was dry and dusty.

It was a disgusting, sweltering day and still, the happy-go-lucky blonde ninja was wearing his orange jumpsuit.

Naruto Uzumaki lay on his bed in his famous orange outfit, staring up at the peeling white ceiling. He seemed to pay no attention to the heat, his concentration only on the ceiling above him. A bead of sweat rolled down his face but he paid it no mind. It was like the ceiling had become the most important thing in the room, that ceiling with the peeling white paint and ugly stains from leaking water. That ceiling with holes in it from where kunai had gone into it.

That ceiling where Naruto and Sasuke had signed their names.

_"Your ceiling's pretty bland, you know that?" Sasuke had stated one night as they lay there, his arms wrapped around Naruto's waist. The blonde turned his head from where it had been buried in the crook of Sasuke's neck to gaze up at his boring ceiling. He stared at it for a while before turning his head back to where it had been. _

_"So?" he mumbled into Sasuke's neck. "It's just a ceiling."_

_Sasuke smirked. "But it's __**your**__ ceiling, dobe. It should be exciting, colorful, something that shows off your personality. You know, something that screams annoying idiot."_

_"What, my orange room's not enough?"_

_Sasuke's smirk turned into a grin. "Your orange room certainly shows off your favorite color. But dobe, come on. This is you. I'd have expected something better than this plain, peeling white ceiling."_

_"Then do something about it," Naruto mumbled, closing his eyes. "Fix it, if it bothers you so much." _

_Sasuke shifted, pulling his arms from around Naruto. The blonde whined at the loss of Sasuke's arms and opened his eyes as Sasuke sat up. The raven-haired boy slipped out of the small bed and strode over to his pants lying halfway across the floor. Naruto had to admit that he liked the view; he only wished that Sasuke was naked instead of in just his boxers. The blonde watched his boyfriend reach into one of his pockets and pull out a blue pen. Sasuke crossed the room and stood up on the bed._

_Naruto watched him with one eyebrow raised. "Sasuke, what are you doing?" _

_Sasuke looked down at him. "Come on, get up." Naruto rolled his eyes, unsure of what his boyfriend had in mind, and stood up._

_"Alright, I'm up. What do you want?" Sasuke shoved an orange pen into Naruto's hands. _

_"Sign. As big as you can," he ordered, pointing to a spot on the ceiling where the paint wasn't completely falling off. Naruto complied with his wishes, signing in big bold, orange letters, 'Naruto Uzumaki.' And because he realized that Sasuke wanted him to be creative, or whatever it was Sasuke wanted him to be, he started to draw a big orange heart underneath his name but Sasuke grabbed his arm when he was only halfway done._

_"Hey!" Naruto protested, shooting the raven-haired boy a glare. "You could have messed it all up! And I'm halfway through, Sasuke! Let me finish!" _

_But Sasuke ignored his boyfriend's pleas and put his own pen to the ceiling to finish the other half of the heart in navy blue. Underneath the heart he signed his own name. Then he wrenched the orange pen from Naruto's hands and chucked both of them across the room before pushing the blonde down on the bed. _

_They lay there, Sasuke's arms once again around Naruto and the blonde pressed against his boyfriend. "There," Sasuke murmured into Naruto's ear. "That's more like it."_

_Naruto stared at the orange and blue letters on his ceiling and smiled. _

_'Naruto Uzumaki hearts Sasuke Uchiha.'_

It was still hot out, the sun beating down upon those that dared brave the day. The air was still stale and heavy and any who breathed it inhaled dust and heat. Heat waves rose from the ground in thick waves and barefoot children had to be carried lest they burn the soles of their feet. Needless to say not many were out and about and those that were wore giant hats and shoes and carried around towels to mop their brows with.

Those that hurried by the park on that sweltering day paid no mind to the blonde teen sitting on an old rusted swing. They paid no heed to the squeak of the swing or the boy sitting upon it with his infamous orange suit. These people were too worried about themselves and their skin to stop and ponder if Naruto Uzumaki had a death wish.

Naruto did not, in fact, have a death wish. However, the teen was, once again, too lost in his thoughts to notice the pools of sweat he was creating around him or the bright red burns his face was generously receiving. He was gazing out at the rest of the park, absorbed in the memories the park brought back.

This was his and Sasuke's park.

_They never went there on a nice day. That was one thing Naruto regretted. Rainy days, snowy days, blistering hot days, the middle of the night. You name it, so long as it was a bad day, they went. So long as it was a day where no one was at the park, where no one left the comfort of their homes, they were there. More often than not though, they went at night. It was easiest that way, and it didn't have to be raining or snowing and no one would be out because it would be two o'clock in the morning. _

_Sasuke pushed Naruto on the swing, taking certain chances to grope the blonde's ass. Naruto only looked over his shoulder and laughed at his boyfriend before he would stick out his tongue and turn back to face front. Sometimes Sasuke would let it slide and just laugh along and other times the raven-haired teen would grab locks of Naruto's blonde hair and jerk the boy close to him before kissing him. _

_Today Sasuke let Naruto off the hook and instead just continued to push the blonde. The air around them was still and silent save for the squeak of the rusty swing. It was at times like these that the two felt the weight of the world on their shoulders. It was there, in that silence that the two were burdened with the fact that what they were doing was wrong, that their relationship was wrong, that they were wrong, that this __**would not last**__. _

_And yet, at the same time, the two had never been closer. This was their moment, their happiness, their time. This was what they had and neither of them needed to waste it with awkward words and rushed feelings. They'd realized long ago that this was it; this was all they had. Never again would they feel the rush of warmth and happiness they got when they looked at each other. Never again would they be able to hold someone as tenderly and lovingly as they did. Never again would they be able to express their feelings as they did when they were together. _

_Naruto planted his feet into the soft dirt, the swing coming to a halt. The creaking stopped and complete silence reigned. Sasuke stood there, the smile on his face faltering. Naruto glanced back at him, his blue eyes shining brightly in the darkness. _

_"What's wrong?" Sasuke croaked out, his voice naught but a hoarse whisper. _

_"How much longer do you think we have?" Naruto whispered, his blue eyes never leaving Sasuke's face. _

_The raven-haired teen shrugged. "Maybe an hour or two. Why?" _

_Naruto's shoulders sagged and he looked away, gnawing on his lower lip. "That wasn't what I meant," he murmured. _

_Sasuke stared at him before reaching out and pulling the swing to him. He wrapped his arms around Naruto and nuzzled the blonde's neck. "Don't think about it," he whispered. "Just don't think about it." He closed his eyes, sighing. "Please…"_

_"Sasuke, this isn't something we can just avoid," Naruto said softly, his eyes gazing out into the pitch black of the night. He looked so lost, so sad, sitting there even with Sasuke holding him protectively. _

_With a great sigh Sasuke let Naruto go; the blonde swung back and forth gently, turning back to stare at his boyfriend. His ocean eyes searched coal ones for answers, for a sign of any sort. Looking away, Sasuke ran a hand through his hair. "I was really hoping to save this for another day," he mumbled, holding his hand out for Naruto to take. _

_The blonde teen stepped out of the swing, his fingers curling around Sasuke's as he took the offered hand. In the dead of the night, under the dim light of the street lamps, Sasuke Uchiha took Naruto Uzumaki to the biggest tree in the park. The two climbed it and climbed it, and Naruto questioned to himself where they were going and why. When Sasuke stopped abruptly, Naruto ran into the back of him. Before the boy could fall, strong arms had themselves wrapped around the blonde's waist and he was pulled into Sasuke's lap. _

_"Alright," Naruto said, looking up at his boyfriend, "You've got me. What are we doing here?" _

_A small smile graced Sasuke's features and Naruto's breath hitched in his throat. He didn't think he'd ever be able to get rid of the warmth that spread through him every time Sasuke smiled. The raven-haired boy pulled a kunai from its holster and ever so smoothly began to carve his initials into the tree trunk. Naruto watched, transfixed, half in shock. There was no way Sasuke was actually doing this; this was for cutesy couples who giggled and laughed and played innocent. Carving their initials into the trunk of a tree inside a big heart was not what two manly teenage shinobi did regardless of how much in love they were. _

_Sasuke finished carving and smirked, pulling back to stare at his handiwork. Naruto had to admit that it was pretty nice. Everything was straight and you could actually read the initials. Naruto had seen some pretty bad carving into tree trunks before; most of the time the initials looked like a big blob of…something inside a circle. But you could tell what these were and you could tell who they belonged to and you could tell that they were in love, if the little heart was no indication. _

_With a goofy grin on his face, Naruto pulled Sasuke's face towards him and kissed him. _

_'S.U. and N.U. forever.'_

It was cooler during the night. A slight breeze blew continually and windows were left open. The villagers slept in their underwear, sweat shining on their skin. Adults slept on their beds as far away from each other as they could; they didn't want to share body heat. Children tossed and turned, their bed sheets kicked to the floor.

Only Naruto was awake, sitting on top of one of the Hokage's faces. His orange jacket had been left at home, his rarely seen black shirt blending in with the night. He was barefoot; the soles of his feet pressed together as he sat in butterfly position. His blonde hair blew this way and that as the wind breezed by.

If Naruto shut his eyes tight enough he could imagine the wind as Sasuke's fingertips teasing his skin. If he shut his eyes tight enough he could imagine Sasuke sitting down next to him. If he shut his eyes tight enough, he could imagine Sasuke's voice calling to him, murmuring his name. If he shut his eyes tight enough, he was sucked into his memories.

_Naruto hardly spared a glance at the raven-haired teen strolling along beside him. A look of determination was plastered across his features. He had somewhere to be and he was late, but he wasn't going to take off running and screaming like most people expected him to do. He was going to be calm and rational about this and explain, politely, why he was late when he arrived. _

_An older woman ran into him, knocking him back a step. She shot him a look as she walked off like it was his fault. The teen next to him narrowed his eyes and seemed to be memorizing the woman's look so he could find and kill her later. _

_Naruto yawned, brushing off the woman's rudeness like it was an everyday occurrence. (It was, but some people didn't need to know that.) He did have somewhere to be and upon looking at the clock he realized that he was now ten minutes late. _

_"We're going to be late," the teen next to him said sharply._

_"We already are late," Naruto replied, grinning. "Besides," he continued, "we're late to our date in the clearing. You're walking with me so it's not like you're waiting for me. And it's not like anyone else is waiting for us, isn't that right Sasuke?" His grin broadened as Sasuke looked away, obviously at a loss of what to say. _

_Sasuke wanted to punch him. _

_"I'll race you there," Naruto said suddenly. _

_"You'll __**what**__?" But Naruto had already taken off. Sasuke rolled his eyes and ran after him, tackling him as soon as they'd gotten to their date location. _

_"Get off," Naruto said, trying to push Sasuke off him. "You're fat." Sasuke grabbed both of Naruto's hands in one of his and held them above the blonde's head. _

_He leaned down, murmuring, "I'm fat?" With his free hand he poked Naruto between the ribs. A girlish squeal erupted from the boy's lips and if Sasuke hadn't been lying on top of Naruto, the blonde would have jerked about a foot into the air. _

_Blue eyes glared at him as a frown marred the normally smiling face. "Now you're just an asshole," Naruto pouted, his bottom lip jutting out. Sasuke leaned away from Naruto, reaching out a hand to run a finger across Naruto's lips. They parted instantly, a pink tongue sliding out and curling around Sasuke's finger. The raven-haired boy watched, fascinated, as Naruto's tongue drew his finger into his mouth. He sucked on it, humming, his blue eyes closing. _

_Sasuke allowed this to continue for a while, his eyes never leaving the blonde's face. And then slowly he pulled his finger out of Naruto's mouth, a smirk rising to his lips at Naruto's groan of disapproval. Blue eyes blinked open and stared at him, a small pout on the tan face. The Uchiha leaned down, his breath ghosting over plump lips before he leaned down the rest of the way. Naruto's mouth opened and Sasuke slid his tongue in, exploring the wet cavern. Naruto's tongue met his._

_Bliss._

Naruto shut his eyes tightly, trying to prevent the tears from spilling down his cheeks. His hands balled into fists, his nails digging into his palm. He was shaking, his bottom lip trembling. He tried to sink his teeth into his lip, tried to focus on something over than Sasuke.

Sasuke, smiling at him.

Sasuke, reaching out and taking his hand.

Sasuke, pulling Naruto's body close that one winter night.

Sasuke, leaning forward and giving him his last kiss.

A choked cry forced its way out of Naruto's lips and he broke down. The tears spilled down his cheeks. Blood oozed down his hands from where his nails had spilt the skin. Another cry clawed its way out and Naruto buried his face in his hands, trying to make it all go away.

Sasuke, sneering at him.

Sasuke, his lips turned up into a foul smirk.

Sasuke, slamming his fist into Naruto's gut.

Sasuke, yelling that Naruto never meant anything to him.

Sasuke, walking away.

_And there they were, standing there. Blue locked onto black. A breeze blew by, ruffling blonde and black hair. Time slowed and came to halt around the two. _

"_Sasuke."_

_Black eyes narrowed, hands curling into fists. _

"_Don't say my name like that!"_

_Blue eyes blinked slowly, the blonde playing innocent. "Don't say your name like what, Sasuke?" He cocked his head to the side. _

"_Don't play fucking stupid with me, Naruto! It's over! We're over!" Sasuke was trembling, never having been good at holding in his anger when it came to the blonde. _

_Naruto swallowed, licking his dry lips. "Why are we over, Sasuke?" His voice was calm, smooth, nothing like the way he felt on the inside. Part of him wanted to yell and scream and kick and punch. The bastard had no right to be like this. "Is it because you have to scurry after Orochimaru? Is that why we're over? So you can go run off to him and feel better about it because you don't have a boyfriend waiting for you back home? Does it make you feel better to leave behind a broken-hearted boy instead of a hoping lover?" _

'_Really, Sasuke, could you be that stupid?'_

"_Shut up!" Sasuke snapped. "You're just a hindrance! That's all you've ever been! You've held me back! Not Sakura, not Kakashi! You!" _

_Naruto took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. If he got angry, if he turned this into a physical fight, Sasuke would win. Sasuke was better than him at those kinds of things. And most of the time Sasuke was better at verbal, logical fights. But this wasn't logical. This was emotional. Naruto could win emotional. _

"_If you knew I was holding you back, then why did you stay with me? Why did you go on dates with me? Why did you spend your free time with me? Why did you allow yourself to get this close to me? If I'm the reason you're so far behind, then why didn't you do something about it earlier?" _

_Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction of an inch before narrowing again. His fists tightened. He grit his teeth together. He didn't know how to respond to that. He couldn't think of a response to that. His brain was shutting down, clouding over with anger and rage. In a few seconds this would get physical._

_Naruto lowered his head, taking a step forward. "Do you think this is some kind of game? Do you think you can go around playing with people and then just leaving them when you feel like it? Do you think that everyone is just going to get over being discarded, move on with their lives like nothing happened? Sasuke, I know you're not like that. So don't do this. Please, don't do this." The blonde looked back up, his watery blue eyes snatching the gaze of inky black ones. "Don't throw me away for Orochimaru. Don't throw me away for revenge. Please..."_

'_I love you, Sasuke.'_

_Sasuke snarled and lunged. _

Moments passed and still Naruto sat there. The heat meant nothing to him. The cold meant nothing. His ceiling meant nothing. Their tree meant nothing. Their dating spot meant nothing. Nothing mattered since Sasuke had left. **Nothing**.

One last, final, broken sob escaped from Naruto's lips. He rose to his feet slowly, swaying, trying to regain his balance and his state of mind. He reached up with his arm to wipe away his tears and paused, staring at the words etched into his arm. He raised his other one and stared at the words there too. These were his last words to Sasuke. These were the only things that mattered since Sasuke had left. These were the last things that Sasuke had helped him etch somewhere and the boy would never know.

_Come home. I love you. _

~~~And this is my horizontal line because the stupid line thingy isn't working~~~

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Haha, leave a review telling me what you think. Cause I'm not feeling well. And reviews will heal me. So leave a lot.

And, as always, have a nice day, evening, morning, night, love life, whatever it is you want to be great.


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